Lady Looks Like a Dude

At this year's World Track and Field Championships in Berlin, Germany, all eyes have been fixed on Usain Bolt, the freakishly tall and fast Jamaican who has shattered the world records in the 100- and 200-meter dashes.

That was, until this chiseled, handsome young sprinter from South Africa burst on to the scene to obliterate the competition in the women's 800-meter final.

That's right, the women's 800-meter final. Now, we here at WWKRD are not licensed in any sort of medical field, nor have we ever claimed to have practical experience in gender testing, but we have come to the conclusion that Semenya is likely not a woman - at least not totally. 

Could it be possible that the track and field world has seen it's first tranny superstar? It certainly appears possible. 

What's even more amusing is the manner in which track governing body IAAF is handling the situation. A gender test was ordered several weeks ago - a process which inexplicably takes quite some time. 

Reports state that the gender test "takes weeks to complete, requires a physical medical evaluation, and includes reports from a gynecologist, endocrinologist, psychologist, an internal medicine specialist, and an expert on gender."

An EXPERT ON GENDER?? 

We can only imagine the years of study and training one must endure to come to the conclusion that a person owns either a penis or a vagina. We're pretty sure this guy could tell you that in about 10 seconds, and for much less money than the standard IAAF process.

Adding to the hilarity is that gender testing was once required for all female athletes at the Olympics, but was abandoned in 1999 - probably because it doesn't take a team of doctors and scientists to distinguish a shaft and some nuts from a hoo-ha. 

One of Semenya's former teachers had some humorous commentary on the matter:

"She was always rough and played with the boys," said Eric Modiba, head of the Nthema Secondary School. "She never wore a dress. It was only in Grade 11 that I realized she's a girl."

Wow. 

So, even in these modern times of teacher-student affairs and pregnancies, a male instructor didn't know if this person was a dude or a chick. That's certainly not good for one's morale.

We here at WWKRD certainly wish Semenya the best, regardless of the outcome of her test. We hope that she would not manufacture a 'mangina' for the purpose of entering an all-female race and earning international renown. We certainly hope that she wouldn't undergo some sort of tribal castration or Manny Ramirez-like feminine hormone gorging to gain a competitive edge. 

All we can hope is that the truth is revealed, and that it comes in the form similar to that depicted in the film "The Crying Game" - where Semenya, proudly accepting her medal on the winner's stand, lowers his/her drawers, fishes deep betwixt her legs, and produces that which we all know is there (allegedly).

Godspeed, Caster Semenya!